Cosmic Bureaucracy
When the universe needs saving, you don't call heroes. You file Form TRF-9843/B in triplicate and wait for approval from the Temporal Regulatory Framework.
Register your interest in this improbable narrative. Processing time: 3-5 business eons.
Once the universe's most efficient problem-solver. Now the universe's most efficient problem. Retired from violence to pursue a quieter life, but the cosmos had other plans. Specifically, plans involving paperwork.
They don't stop time travelers because time travel is dangerous. They stop them because they didn't file the correct forms. Somewhere between middle management and cosmic horror.
Tired. So very tired. Just wants a day off but keeps getting dragged into increasingly absurd temporal incidents that require increasingly absurd amounts of paperwork to resolve.